Wednesday, September 26, 2012


So, today, my career center teacher had a couple of guys in the army come to talk to us today so we could expand our options. And one thing the sergeant said really stuck with me: Hope's not really a good strategy in anything.

I started thinking about how true that was. I mean, I'm not saying to not have hope. You always have to have hope, because sometimes it's all you have left. But I was thinking about how that's what I always do. I sit back and hope for the best, then nothing ever happens. Because I never actually go DO anything. So it opened my eyes.

You can't just sit back and hope for whatever it is you're wanting. You have to go out and get it.

So, Abe, I'm sorry. But you're about to be my boyfriend. You are my project.

Song of the day: We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift. Because it's catchy.
Author of the day: JK Rowling. Because, duh.

See you!
Miss M

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A rant about boys and their wishy-washyness

Hi. I don't really have a topic for today, so I'm just gonna give a general update on me.

So, my career center is going pretty good. The guy, Abraham, is so amazing. I mean, seriously. I wanna jump that. Problem is, HE HAS A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. YET WHAT DOES HE DO? FLIRT WITH ME ALL DAY.

I hate boys. They flirt with you and talk to you and tell you things like you're the only person they can tell, then the next moment "Oh yeah, I went to my girlfriend's this weekend." And you're just sitting there like "WHAT. THE FUCK. IS WRONG. WITH YOU." Because seriously! My friend Kiwi AND my mother think he's flirting with me. So does FPDP. It's so infuriating.  Because the good ones are always taken. WHY?!

He's hot, plays football, wrestles, is real muscley, is funny, nice, sweet, likes to make dirty jokes with me, AND HE USED TO BE IN SHOW CHOIR. HOW PERFECT IS HE FOR ME?! Totally fucking perfect, that's how perfect he is. All the guys that I like who sing are all basses. Guess what part he sang? Bass. He's a country boy and his legs/ass look amazing in his jeans. Sigh.

Him and Kiwi were sitting with me yesterday while we were doing our final sketches. OB was playing country music on the radio, and they were both singing. Kinda singing FOR me, because I didn't know most of the songs.

HE EVEN INVITED ME TO GO TO HIS CHURCH/YOUTH GROUP WITH HIM. Too bad I'm agnostic and every time I go to church I end up irritated, because I'd love to go and hang out with him. FML.

Sorry I've been irritated about this ever since it happened so I'm just AGH. I'm writing this at school and it's about to be passing time, so I'll end the rant for today.

Song of the day: Stu's Song (From The Hangover) Meets Metal by 331Erock on YouTube. It's amazing. See?

Book of the day: Identical by Ellen Hopkins

See you next time!
Miss M

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


I have a weird problem. Whenever one of my friends is really super happy, I get sad.

Like, I'm happy for them, but at the same time I start feeling really bad about myself.

For example, just about 10 minutes ago my friend FPDP told me how she asked the boy she likes to be her boyfriend, and he accepted. I was immediately happy for her (and I'm STILL happy for her, really!) but then, a minute later, I felt the familiar sinking sensation in my stomach and the sadness descended on me. I started thinking about how I can't get a boyfriend, and how every time I think a boy likes me he always ends up backing out and not hardly speaking to me, and other things in that area.

I hate this, because I will feel the same elated happiness that my friends feel for like 5 minutes at the most, then my stomach sinks. I want to be happy with my friends, but I always have to end up pretending because even though I know I'm feeling the happy, the sad starts taking over and I have to work really hard to keep sounding happy so I don't ruin THEIR happy.

You know, internet, I go through this every few months or so. I won't care that I don't have a boyfriend for months. Then all of a sudden, I start thinking about my chronic singleness. I don't know how to get out of it. I know I shouldn't care, and I try to tell myself that, but I don't know. I only count myself as having one and a half boyfriends. One because I had a boyfriend 2 years ago (freshman year) for about a month, and that's where I got my first kiss. Half because a guy was identified as my "boyfriend" for three months in 7th grade. For some reason, that little black part inside of me tells myself that my lack of boyfriend is just confirmation that I am ugly. My parents and friends are all like "noooooooo! you're not ugly at all!" but I know they just say that because they're family/friends and they're obligated to.

I just want a boyfriend that thinks I'm pretty and likes my weird/nerdy personality, and likes spending time with me. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so, because I am single, as you can see.

Ugh. I know this is an extremely whiny post, but as I warned you in my very first one, this is going to be my diary of sorts. So, here's a diary-like post.

Song of the day: "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance. Because I'm not right now.
Book of the day: "The Book Thief" By Markus Zusak. Because it makes me cry.

See you next time,
Miss M

Friday, September 7, 2012


I'm going to go ahead and post this now. I think I'm getting a cold. I have a stopped up nose, a headache, a sore throat (and I sound like a fucking frog), I'm quickly developing a cough, and my body is so sore. I am not in a good mood.

I was posting this just in case I don't get to post this weekend. So you guys will have a reason.

Song of the day: "5-1-5-0" by Dierks Bently
Book of the day: "Before I Fall" by Lauren Oliver

See you MAYBE this weekend, maybe not till next weekend. Who knows.
Miss M

Wednesday, September 5, 2012


We got MacBooks at school today. I'm writing this blog from it. That's surprising. Filters usually won't let you in any sort of social networking site (i.e., this). Hmm. Interesting.

Okay, I just wanted to do this because it was surprising. Haha.

Author of the day: Judy Blume, in honor of her announcing her breast cancer.
Song of the day: Yellow-Backed Fly by Steve Martin & The Steep Canyon Rangers. Because it's the first one that came up on my iPod, haha.

See you this weekend!
Miss M

Monday, September 3, 2012


So, today counts as weekend because it's labor day. Happy labor day!

Quick update on the boy-ish front before the real meat: England has basically ceased talking to me, while Abraham has increased his talking. Weird.

Saturday, I had to go to a game night thing. Some of my mom's old co-workers had invited her many times to go to a game night, and she finally accepted this time. She forced me to go with her as her excuse, because FPDP and Leppie had invited me to go to FPDP's house to sleepover, and go to the water park in the morning. The co-workers have a friend that is slightly autistic, and it was her house that we went to.

Okay, I know it's not her fault, but SERIOUSLY. SHE IRRITATED ME SO BADLY. We were there until about 10, then we headed to FPDP's house.

Me, Leppie, and FPDP stayed up really late and talked. Then at 10:45 Sunday morning, we got up and got ready to go to the water park. I had a really good time. We floated around the lazy river most of the time and talked. The other part of the time, we were in the normal big pool floating around, or laying out on chairs.

Then, mother tells me that we're going to her best friend's house to have enchiladas. Well, yay enchiladas, but I was quickly developing a severe sunburn. My shoulders were slightly burned, my right arm was burned pretty bad, my chest wasn't too good, and my shoulder blades/back were REALLY bad. So we were there until about 1:30, then finally home.

THIS MORNING, mother gets a phone call from grandpa that we need to "trim the yard". Excuse me, old man, but I have a severe sunburn. I had to do it anyway. I was luckily only out there for like, 30 minutes with a tshirt covering all the sunburn, but still.

Now I'm inside. I needed this to be a quick blog because I also need to do laundry and finish my homework today. So, I'm going to sign off for now.

Song of the day: "Gangnam Style" by PSY. Yes, I like this song. It's catchy as hell.
Book of the day: "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins. I'm reading it again, yeah. Screw you.

See you next weekend!
Miss M